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TOPIC: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal!

Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #223

  • motorthud
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Chapter 1: The Forest
I awoke in a pristine field. When I opened my eyes, I discovered I was lying on a bed of flowers. For some strange reason, I quickly backed off of them. Why did I do that? I thought to myself. Out of respect? I decided not to let my mind overtake me about flowers. Not exactly the best thing to do. Plus, for the moment, I was lost. I awoke from the flowerbed with no memories of my past. I quickly examined myself to see if I had anything I could use. I did have a backpack, but it didn't contain much; just some sticks and stones. As I sat down to think through what might have happened, I felt a sharp pain in my back. I quickly grimaced in pain, then felt the source. It had some kind of handle, and I quickly drew it out. Wow... I wondered. Where could I have gotten this? It was a full-blown diamond sword, with some blood already on it. Hopefully, the blood wasn’t mine. I quickly let my mind wander away from that subject. I still needed to survive. I started simply by examining the lake nearby. The water seemed perfectly fine. I bent down to drink some- and nearly screamed. Inside that lake, I thought I saw some hideous creature! I then reached out with my sword. So did the creature. I realized it was just a reflection. So this was what I looked like... according to the lake, I had on some kind of shawl, and... battle armor? I had what looked like a monster’s face on a side of my head. I poked it. It clearly was not a mask. Oh well, back to work. That monster had made a spark in my memory, however. I had a quick vision of it closing in on me. I jumped back to reality, thankfully. I decided for now to just rest and wait for someone to come rescue me. I might have read that in some kind of book. So, after drinking some water and munching on some mushrooms, I fell back to sleep near the lake. Hopefully, I thought, this will all be over soon. And with that thought in mind, I fell asleep smiling. Little did I know, I was horribly mistaken.

Chapter 2: The Meeting
I woke up to hear owls hooting. Well, I was still stranded in the forest. Dang it! I somewhat angrily opened my eyes to wake up to a girl standing about four inches away from my face. As any brave hero would do, I screamed out of fright. She seemed startled for a second, then she looked back to herself. I heard some birds in the trees fly off and some rustling in the bushes. “Quickly, we must hurry! Follow me!” she said as fast as she possibly could. “Wait but where-” I started to say, but she snatched my arm and we were off and running. I followed her, even though I probably didn’t have a choice. She was running like a cheetah, but suddenly stopped in a clearing. I was still dizzy, so I crashed into a tree. Smooth move, I thought to myself. Great, now I was a klutz AND ugly. The perfect dude, huh? I looked out of my now one good eye to see what she was staring at. I had to duck quickly, because it nearly hit me with something. A bullet? A dart? I checked the tree it hit. It was neither, but it was an arrow. I looked for the person who shot it, and saw a skeleton in the moonlight.
I know I didn’t have good sight since I crashed into that tree, but trust me, I was seeing straight. For some reason, I got up and started running towards the skeleton. I had no idea what I was doing. Suicide? It sure seemed like it. But at the last moment i jumped off it’s bow and hit it with my sword so hard, it literally crumbled to dust and bones. I tried to look as awesome as I could to the girl, but she just grabbed me and dragged me to- wherever she was going. I decided to ask a question on the way there. I didn’t get much out of it. “We’ll discuss everything later.” We?, I thought. And when was later? She looked in a hurry to get to wherever, so I just stayed silent along the rest of the way.
"Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence."
-Edgar Allen Poe
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Re: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #225

  • idasomfan
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I think it's awesome! But you still need to change the lines more often cause it gets kinda hard to read. O-O
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Re: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #232

Lol, nice work man. I love reading schtuff like this. Are you going to incorporate different members of the server into this or is it gonna be completely made up?
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Re: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #234

  • furrybunny101
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I love it! It's really interesting, I just want to keep reading! My only suggestion is to make new paragraphs for whoever is talking, like in real books. It'd be much easier to understand that way, knowing who is talking. But either way, I really love it.
5 Stars!!
~I'm a Gamemaker in our Hunger Games. Ask me anything!~
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Re: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #243

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You should post the rest of the chapters you sent me! It's only getting better and better! :oops:
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Re: Chp.1 & 2 of Portal of Vaal! 10 years 8 months ago #249

  • gmmusg
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Really good! LOVE IT!
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